Continue Even if you are Being Ignored
Even though it appeared to Rebbe Nachman as if in Heaven they were never paying any attention to him and they were not listening to him at all, instead appearing contrary, as if they were distancing him from Hashem's service with all types of separations, as if they do not desire him at all. Since he saw how numerous days and years were passing by and he was still very far from Hashem and he still did not reach any closeness, therefore it appeared in his eyes that they were not listening to his words at all and they were not paying any attention to him, appearing contrary as if they were distancing him with all types of separations from Hashem's service.
Even though it appeared to Rebbe Nachman as if in Heaven they were never paying any attention to him and they were not listening to him at all, instead appearing contrary, as if they were distancing him from Hashem's service with all types of separations, as if they do not desire him at all. Since he saw how numerous days and years were passing by and he was still very far from Hashem and he still did not reach any closeness, therefore it appeared in his eyes that they were not listening to his words at all and they were not paying any attention to him, appearing contrary as if they were distancing him with all types of separations from Hashem's service.
Despite this, Rebbe Nachman would greatly strengthen himself and did not abandon his position. A few times it happened that he fell in his mind since he saw how much he prayed, pleaded and begged to come close to the service of Hashem and they were not paying any attention to him. Because of this he fell in his mind and a few days would pass where he would not converse so much with his Creator. Afterwards he would recollect himself and was very embarrassed that he had doubts about the attributes of Hashem, since in truth Hashem is for sure merciful and kind etc. and certainly wishes to bring him close to Him. Rebbe Nachman would then go back and strengthen his mind and once again start beseeching and talking to Hashem as mentioned above. So too this happened a few times.
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 12)
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 12)
Simplicity is the Greatest Wisdom
Serving Hashem in simplicity was the essence of his great wisdom. Due to his great astounding wisdom he immediately realized that one does not need any wisdom when serving Hashem. This is the greatest wisdom of all, not to be wise when it comes to the service of Hashem, rather to serve Him with plainness and simplicity, without any wisdoms at all.
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 13)
Serving Hashem in simplicity was the essence of his great wisdom. Due to his great astounding wisdom he immediately realized that one does not need any wisdom when serving Hashem. This is the greatest wisdom of all, not to be wise when it comes to the service of Hashem, rather to serve Him with plainness and simplicity, without any wisdoms at all.
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 13)
Take Each Day at a Time
Each and everything that Rebbe Nachman wanted to do in Avodas Hashem was very hard for him to perform with every existing type of heaviness. In the beginning it was very hard for him to sit alone in a secluded house for a few consecutive hours and occupy himself with Avodas Hashem. This thing was very hard for him at the beginning. However, Rebbe Nachman greatly strained himself, broke his urges and sat for a few hours each day doing Hisbodedus in a special room.
Each and everything that Rebbe Nachman wanted to do in Avodas Hashem was very hard for him to perform with every existing type of heaviness. In the beginning it was very hard for him to sit alone in a secluded house for a few consecutive hours and occupy himself with Avodas Hashem. This thing was very hard for him at the beginning. However, Rebbe Nachman greatly strained himself, broke his urges and sat for a few hours each day doing Hisbodedus in a special room.
So too it was very, very difficult for him to perform his spiritual service each day. It was so hard for him that he could not carry this burden due to its heaviness, since it was very, very hard and heavy upon him. It was only through the following method that he was able to carry the yoke of his spiritual service. Each day he would think in his mind that he only has this day alone and he would not look at the following day and future at all, as if he only had this one day. Therefore he was able to carry the burden of the spiritual service of that day, since for a single day a person could accept upon himself all existing forms of worship, since it is only for one day. When Rebbe Nachman would finish the worship for that day, then the next day he would repeat this and accept upon himself the spiritual service of that day as well.
This is how he would act constantly, he would not think in his mind except about that day alone, and through this he was able to carry upon him the burden of his spiritual service that was very heavy upon him. Without this method, he would not have been able to carry it upon him at all, since he would maximize his Avodas Hashem with many forms of worship each day, all of which were done with great effort, toil and great heaviness. So much, that it would not have been possible for him to carry such a yoke were it not for the technique mention above, where he would not think in his mind only regarding that day alone.
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 14)
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 14)
Lust is Nauseating
Regarding the great level of Rebbe Nachman's holiness and his breaking of the 'Encompassing Lust' that encompasses all the other bad lusts, that is the Lust for Impurity, can not be explained and given over. Rebbe Nachman said that he had countless tests, but in truth these are not tests at all. He said this is not a lust at all and whoever is truthfully wise, even if he is not Jewish, as long as he is truly wise, it is befitting that this lust should not be considered by him a lust at all. He then said, a person that is knowledgeable in the wisdom of biology and knows the organization of the organs according to the wisdom of biology, it is befitting that he should be disgusted by this lust with complete disgust. Regarding the disgustingness of this lust, Rebbe Nachman spoke a lot but I (Rebbe Nason) can not give it over due to the forgetfulness.
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 16)
Regarding the great level of Rebbe Nachman's holiness and his breaking of the 'Encompassing Lust' that encompasses all the other bad lusts, that is the Lust for Impurity, can not be explained and given over. Rebbe Nachman said that he had countless tests, but in truth these are not tests at all. He said this is not a lust at all and whoever is truthfully wise, even if he is not Jewish, as long as he is truly wise, it is befitting that this lust should not be considered by him a lust at all. He then said, a person that is knowledgeable in the wisdom of biology and knows the organization of the organs according to the wisdom of biology, it is befitting that he should be disgusted by this lust with complete disgust. Regarding the disgustingness of this lust, Rebbe Nachman spoke a lot but I (Rebbe Nason) can not give it over due to the forgetfulness.
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 16)
Rebbe Nachman's Tests
As a rule, Rebbe Nachman was greatly repulsed by this lust with complete nauseating, until he declared and said that any person that is somewhat truthfully wise, this lust is not considered a test for him at all. However even before he merited to nullify and become completely disgusted by this lust, before this he had many, many large fearsome tests with this lust, that can not be written over explicitly. Even in his youth, at the time when the blood boils, he had numerous large tests of this lust, where numerous times he had the ability to fulfil his lusts and he was in very, very grave danger. Yet he was a strong warrior and he overcame his evil inclination and subdued his desires endless times.
As a rule, Rebbe Nachman was greatly repulsed by this lust with complete nauseating, until he declared and said that any person that is somewhat truthfully wise, this lust is not considered a test for him at all. However even before he merited to nullify and become completely disgusted by this lust, before this he had many, many large fearsome tests with this lust, that can not be written over explicitly. Even in his youth, at the time when the blood boils, he had numerous large tests of this lust, where numerous times he had the ability to fulfil his lusts and he was in very, very grave danger. Yet he was a strong warrior and he overcame his evil inclination and subdued his desires endless times.
Still he would not distance himself and run away from the test a second time. Just the opposite, he was interested in tests and used to pray to Hashem that he should expose him to tests, since he was very strong in his mind that he for sure would not rebel against Hashem. For how can it be that he would sin and transgress the will of Hashem unless he would go insane, heaven forbid at that moment. However since he would have some level of sanity at the time of the test, he would for sure be able to pass it, according to the great strength he had in his heart, that he was extremely strong in Hashem. Despite this, at the time he was placed in the actual test, he was in great danger and he would scream a lot to Hashem, until he managed to overcome his evil inclination and was saved. Despite this, he would not distance himself from being exposed to this test a different time, even thought that at the time of the test it was very hard for him as mentioned above. So too this happened many, many countless times that can not be measured. Yet Hashem helped him and he merited to overcome his evil inclination and to nullify his the burning fire of this general lust.
Rebbe Nachman was very, very holy and distant from this lust with great abstinents and awesome holiness. He said the Evil One was willing to leave him alone on everything if he would be willing to give up one thing and he said just the opposite, that he is willing to abandon everything only this one thing he is not willing to stop trying to nullify it. Meaning, the Evil One was willing to let Rebbe Nachman break all the lusts as long as he would be willing to forsake nullifying one of them, most probably the General Lust, which is the main part of the evil inclination. However Rebbe Nachman said the opposite that he is willing to leave all his other lusts and not break them, only this lust he is determined to nullify completely.
This was how Rebbe Nachman acted in the beginning, all his goals and all his effort were only to first nullify the 'Encompassing Lust'. In the beginning he did not devote any attention to nullifying the 'lust of eating', in fact the opposite, in the beginning he would eat a lot - a lot, much more then other people. He said that at that point he would drag all his lusts into the 'lust of eating'. Afterwards he nullified this 'lust of eating' as well.
Rebbe Nachman had to undergo all types of countless strains, hard work, battles and tests before he nullified the 'Encompassing Lust'. Also there were many, many prayers, pleadings, cries and conversations that he prayed, pleaded and poured his heart out in front of Hashem with all sorts of pleadings, appeasements and beeseachments that Hashem should help save him from this lust. Until he merited to withstand all the tests and he greatly sanctified himself with complete separation from this lust in ways that can not be measured. Until he merited to completely nullify this lust. It then became a wonder to him how any person can consider it hard to nullify this lust, since he said that that it is not a lust at all and. He would talk a lot about this subject, regarding the nullification and disgust of this lust.
He said: It is not possible to discuss with people that have already physicalized themselves about the nauseation of this lust. Their bloods have become intermingled so much that their minds have become confounded, until they can not comprehend this at all and it does can not enter their heart how it is possible to be disgusted by this desire, therefore it is not possible to talk much about this. However a person that is even a little truthfully wise, can easily become completely disgusted by this desire. As Rebbe Nachman said; that this is not a test at all to a person that is truthfully wise. He then said that there must be a Kabalistic mystery to this, since in truth there is no lust at all. Rebbe Nachman would greatly flaunt his great strength in nullifying this lust. He was very holy and awesome in this subject and said upon himself that he had absolutely no lust at all.
He said: by him male and female are equivalent. Meaning, he does not have any battle due to any element of an impure thought when he sees or speaks with a woman, since everything is equivalent by him.
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 16)
(Shivchay Haran - His Greatness 16)
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