Leshem Yichud to Recite Before Watching A Movie
Please print and hang in your Shul and on your TV
Please print and hang in your Shul and on your TV
I am herby willingly and readily preparing to bind myself to the Sita Acher. To give power and strengthen the klipot and the forces of evil that reside in the world, with the movie that I am about to watch. And may it be, that for the next two and a half hours I will unite myself totally and completely with the movie and bind myself to it in total concentration.
I am herby ready and prepared to be Pogem Anayim and gaze at immodestly dressed women for the next two and a half hours. I am fully prepared to be over on the Lav Doraysa of “Lo sasuro achary levavchem vachari anachem” I am also willing to transgress the Lav of “Heshumer Mkal Dvar Ra”. I am ready and prepared to be over a Deraysa of looking and thinking about women as brought down by all the Poskim, including but not limited to the Ramban, Rambam, Rabbanue Yonah, and Shulchan Aruch. I am also more then ready to be over on “Vehyisem Kedoshim” and “Kidoshim Tihyo”. I am also ready and prepared to look at the face of Reshaim even though the Holy Kabbalah warns that it is very damaging to the soul.
I am ready and prepared to funnel impure thoughts into my mind that will cause me to heaven forbid be Pogem Habris. If that will not happen, then I am fully prepared and ready to see Keri while I sleep. I am fully ready to contaminate my mind day and night with impure thoughts and recollections from the movie that I am about to watch. I am ready and prepared to spend countless Shmoni Esrehs, spaced out from beginning to end having the impurity of the movie overtake my mind. I am ready and prepared to have hiruray Znus with my Tefilin on.
I am herby making myself a vessel to fully receive and absorb all the impure essence of the defiled actors and producers that created the movie. I am ready for it to be integrated and impressed upon my body, soul and emotions. I am ready to absorb all the non Jewish culture and the bad traits of the seventy nations. I am willing and ready to bring into my mind confusion and Kfirot, I will confound my mind with wicked philosophy until I will start not believing in Hashem and the Tzadikim. I am ready and prepared to start uttering the vulgarity and slang that I will hear throughout the movie and fully plan on integrating it into my daily conversations. I am prepared and ready to adore and idolize the wicked Reshaim in the movie who wish to destroy Yisroel and whose ancestors committed gross murderous acts against our nation. I am ready to totally bind myself to their fake impure and empty culture and commit to live it, myself and my family.
I am fully ready and prepared to cause great damage and destruction in the Spiritual words. I am ready to cause great flaws in many of the various Holy Shemot. I am fully ready to create great havoc, in the worlds of Azilut, Briah, Yitzirah and Asiyah. I am ready to damage and mutilate all parts of my soul composed of the Nefesh, Ruch, Neshamah. I am ready to delay the arrival of Moshiach and to bring much suffering and poverty to the world.
I am ready to waste the next hours funneling impurity into my soul instead of spending the time studying Torah and doing Avodas Hashem. I am ready to lose all sensation and awareness of Kedusha as well as nullify my Emunah in Hashem and the Tzadikim. I am ready to strongly lower my ability to concentrate and learn Torah as well as damage my memory for all things Holy. I am also giving the Chitzinim a permanent share of all the Torah and Mitzvot that I do until the point when I do Teshuvah. I am ready to create demons and other negative entities that will steal all my substance. I am ready to further away my ability to find my Zivug and make her completely opposed and rebellious to me if I do find her. If I am married then I am willing to have my children considered semi Mamzarim since I will not be able to control my thoughts.
I will do all of the above willingly and gleefully sitting
relaxed in the sofa and enjoying myself to the utmost.
No comments:
Post a Comment